Like so many others, sure you thought, "let's give it the old seminary try" -- well, it's a kind of valiant action in a way.

She has done a little more curtain-tearing than she really needs to. A friend's sister got her marriage in trouble after she discovered her husband had some porn on the computer.... after that, whenever he got a faraway look while they were making love, she demanded to know who he was thinking about.

There's no going forward from there; you could just as easily be heterosexual AND attracted to your wife and she could still negate you with her zero-fantasy clampdown.

The urge to be an exclusive object of devotion is understandable, even pitiable, but hardly workable.

I have often seen facets of other attractive boys in my boyfriend, and even some very young ones map onto him quite well -- in a way, my span of attractions is all one thing. So I am glad he doesn't challenge me; it is all in his honour in the end.