Welcome aboard cblf Ben,

We know how you feel mate. The good news is, that it doesn't always have to be a struggle (well not a HUGE one anyhow).

Stick around, express some feelings, get some feedback and before you know it life as a BL actually gets much better.

I love this place!

"what god would view me as being friends with young boys and having an attraction to them".
I'm confident that God loves friendships... even between 40yos and 7yos, as long as you keep them holy. As to the attraction. God made them beautiful and, dare I say it, even sexy! I don't think its wrong to admire that beauty, again, the challenge is to keep it holy.

Blessings
Cat.