Sounds like you've done plenty of tossing already? :)

All kidding aside..

There's a lot of talk about whether one is gay from conception, or something during (early) life can change that, or maybe our sexuality is somewhat fluid (maybe stabilizing at some point in our lives), or maybe there's something different for each person. I fall into the "nurture rather than nature" fold myself.. And my first sexual experiences were hetero, not gay. At the age of 5 and 6 the idea of doing something with another boy was alien, but by 7 I'd been dumped and was seeking release and turned to a male friend. Some years later I'd practiced being gay so much, and practiced having sex with boys so much, that's what I am stuck with.

But even that is not really important.

There's talk of whether or not the Bible allows people to be gay. I personally take note of things like "giving up the natural use of women" - did that verse originally refer to guys who are naturally straight switching to men, and have nothing at all to do with guys who are naturally gay?

Either way.. God knows your heart, He knows how He made you, and He knows who you can and can't fall for. And it's quite possible that for each of us there is still a woman we can fall for, if we're only willing to let go of this, and let the Lord lead us.. Or maybe, there's a guy for some of us.. Maybe some of us will get *really* lucky and that 13yo I think has the hots for me really does, AND the Lord will let us be together forever... :)

But there is one thing you cannot escape, and that is the clear sin of adultery. So maybe God is happy with certain guys marrying other guys, maybe He thinks it's great for some of us. But no where is there a license for screwing around. Ok, so many of those throughout Biblical history got away with more than one wife, and some may have got away with a bit of gay sex as well (eg David and Jonathan - and I am VERY far from convinced that either of them had sex with another male), but it is still clear, from Adam to Revelation, that God intended 1+1, not 1+x.

Some might say I am wrong. You might think I am wrong. That's quite fine. But there's only one way to actually be safe, and that's not to give in to temptation. Remember the promises about sacrifice and "to him who has given much, much will be given" or something along those lines.. You stand to gain from abstinence.

(And, just to set the record straight, if I was in your shoes, I doubt we would've stopped at wanking - and I know that because I passed that mark many times, and probably would do so again despite my desire to find and spend the rest of my life with one partner from now on).

Hope this is of some help.