One night when I was in early grade 12 my best friend decided to try to find out what was going wrong in a relationship (nothing to do with sex) that I had at school. He asked me this personal question and I was quite shocked: could people ask such personal stuff?

Well, I started to open up and so did he, though he was a very dignified straight boy with no squelchy sentimental side at all, and it ended up that we talked all night! It felt wonderful.

You two seem by comparison to be complete strangers. Try intimacy. Just ask him what he thinks about who he wants to love, what he finds really hot, what his religious views are on love and how they reconcile with what his dreams desire... among best friends, there is no gentleman's agreement not to discuss these things. He may not want to, but on the other hand, it may be a huge relief to him to have someone to confide in.

Having a really good conversation is a lot better than sex, and there is no equivalent that can be done alone.