I, of course, am one of those who disagrees with Martin's position, as well as a counter example to his proposed pattern of behaviorism as causal factor in homosexuality. I never had any such experiences with my friends until I had concluded that I was gay. Up to that and for years after as well, I resisted the feelings of attraction with a hardend resolve worthy of any ex-gay therapy program, and in fact I researched reparitive therapies and used those concepts with myself in private. And I'm still gay. Now I really really regret not having aced on my feelings back then. I had some beautiful classmates in middle- and high-school, beautiful in body and mind, who were openly gay and were my friends. But I was too afraid of being gay myself to make something more of those relationships: missied opportunities all. I think that is the only thing I truly regret in my life. And I blame this "behaviorist" viewpoint, unsubstantiated by current understanding of the human psyche, for leading me down that path or self-hatred. It came to me through my father's fear and hatred, and that of my church, but this false viewpoint gave fleeting scientific support for their idea that being gay is a choice. I should point out that there are almost no pure behaviorist psychologists anymore. The closest respected viewpoint is cognitive-behaviorism which recognises that there are fixed patterns in the mind that cannot be changed, such as personality. They can be "massaged" a bit, but it is only possible to change more superficial mental patterns. Orientation is universally held amongst legitimate psychologists as one such fixed mental pattern.

Youth, I see a lot of my struggle in your experience. I hope that you can face your feelings without the fear and especially without the self-hatred that I experienced.

Love in Christ,
~CSL