I haven't posted in a while, I was letting things settle down and sorting stuff out with him and myself.

And yeah, though I haven't agreed with everything he has done, I still love him.
But in comes another problem.


I let him and my brother drink with me last weekend, and when my brother went to bed, he became very close to me.
A lot closer than usual.

I was rather drunk myself, and didn't realize it at first.
I was sitting on the couch, and he moved up and put his head on my shoulder.
He put his hands under my shirt and wrapped himself around me.
And later on, I found him trying to get his hands into my pants.

I freaked out, and realized what was happening, so I chose to move away from him and sit on the other side of the room.

He then started to cry, and I couldn't resist so I moved back.
He is so damn cute.
He told me he didn't know what he wanted, and felt that he did something bad.
I assured him it was OK, but he should think things through before he acts them out.

I ended up snuggling closely with him in bed. It was pretty cold, and I had to get up early and move to the couch because he was so cosy and I didn't want to get caught.

He was obviously horny after breaking up with his GF, and probably wanted some attention. But also drunk...
We really haven't spoken about it since.


I heard from him tonight that he is with a girl.
It doesn't take much effort for him, he is beautiful.
Checking his Myspace, he has at least 50 individual girls asking for his MSN!

I wish that I could be with him, and sometimes I wish I let him just go for it.
But after hearing how upset he was about it when he settled down, I think I made the right decision.
I just hope he isn't trying to patch up his problem by grabbing a random girl from the flock chasing after him.
She is as young as he is, so a much better choice than a girl who is much older. It won't last, but he'll get what he wants from it.


He wants to come around this weekend, and I am hesitant about letting him drink.
But I'm afraid that if I don't, he and my brother will start running amok with another guy they know.
It is safer he drinks here, than out on the streets or getting stoned with this other guy.
I have set limits, and I have made it so that he drinks in moderation, so he isn't TOO drunk.

He actually supplies the alcohol for him and my brother.
His older sister gives it to him, he drinks here because his mother wont let him.
I drink my own, if not any at all.


I spoke to his mother the other day, and accused me of giving him drugs.
She was oblivious to the things he was doing inside her own home, yet jumps on something trivial such as taking drugs here.
Basically, I assured her we don't do that, and that he is perfectly fine here.
I also gave her my mobile number, and asked her to call me if she didn't know where he was.
That also allows me to look out for him if something happens.
She knows I care, and I think she has a better impression of me.


Anyway, he is heading over this weekend, and I am a bit nervous about what might happen.
It is VERY tempting to let him do something with me, it may even open a door and allow us to be together as 'good friends'.
If he does genuinely feel about me, I will let him know my feelings, and we can progress from there.

Thanks for reading.