No I do not think you should sexual fantasize about any boy although I do and yes about my SYF also. It does not affect my relationship with him because it's my problem and I keep it to myself, I would never let it affect him. I would never abandon the relationship because I am there for him as a mentor and he has no man in his life to teach him the truth, be there for him and love him no matter what. To abandon him after all these years would be like sticking a knife in his heart, he would never understand and to me it would be a selfish thing to do for myself. It is up to me to control myself around him and put him first in all that I do for him. I get so much out of being around him and it is hard to stay focused on doing what is right, that I am there for him, it's about him not me. It is so difficult and a big struggle for me, but all of that is worth it to me because I love helping boys and I LOVE BOYS SO MUCH!!! I keep it balanced by not making this the only importance in my life, I have many other relationships and I seek help through counseling, Church and having the most important relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus! It is tough but I am a boylover and will always love them and be there to help boys so long as I am here on this earth. The sexual aspect I don't think I will ever understand but it is a part of my life and I must deal with it the best I can. If the Lord wants to change that part of me then He will have to do it because I can't, but whatever happens I know He loves me no matter what problems I have to face or or go through while I am here.

By The way I am still Praying for you and your family every day, could you give us an update on how things are going. I pray that the Lord is doing a great work in your life and will heal your marriage.


God Bless!