Hey Cat

I've done the "pretending you're the boy" thing during sex with my wife and it really does it for me.

Probably goes back to a near miss experience I had with a guy of about 17/18 when I was 12. Basically he offered me a large sum of money to do stuff with him but I said no, although I was curious. My orientation has always been towards pre-pubescents so there was no question of wanting this guy.

Since then though, I've had various fantasies about what it would've been like. After all, it's a guy having sex with a minor which is what it's all about for me. Strange that I should fantasize about something I didn't want to happen.

Interestingly, however, I chatted this through with my female soulmate (not wife) one time - she can hear anything without judging and remain outside the situation - amazing woman. Anyway, she says she still has fantasies about the guy who abused her (convinced her to "have an affair") when she was a teenager. I found that really bizarre knowing what she really feels about him, but I guess that's the way it works for some.

So, I still have thoughts of "being the boy" during sex. I'm not fantasising about boys, I'm not even having "being raped" type fantasies so I don't have a problem with it. The problem only starts when my mind drifts away into other fantasies (but of course I have full control over my mind so that rarely happens *ahem*).

Good luck, and score your wife an extra few points for trying to help your sex life improve instead of just bitching about things.

God bless

EMPIRE