(Like I have said before, I'm not married so what i say may not be worth anything)

It was once said to me, if you 'lust' over the woman you marry, it's not lust, it's love. I believe this to be true.

Are you fantasizing that you are the little boy you once where?
If so... it's still... you... and her... right?

Sex is confusing.

Sex. God. It's all connected.

I think that if you have it right... if you ARE the little boy
and SHE IS the woman... can it be lust?

Or can it be love?
Can't God make things work for all good?
Cat, I think you should meditate... in complete silence, and just listen.
(not implying that you don't :)

Do you have faith that this could help?