Cat & Clive, that is exactly what happened, and I now agree with you.

Firtly Clive, thanks for the great story.
It has changed my views on this issue.

I think you have personified the toys, as the girl he has hurt.
He broke the first over fighting and neglect, and the next over anguish.
Now, can we think of the toys as 'wood serving its purpose'.

Do girls serve purpose. Sex??
Do they have feelings. Yes.

Grandma comforting the boy takes his mind off it, as does his mother ringing the bell for dinner; the toy burns in the fire.

I made effort in comforting this girl.
What he did was surely wrong, but is it right to simply comfort him to take his mind off it.


Cat mentioned that I trust this girl.
My YF has told me many things about her that were negative, but after talking to her, she doesn't seem as bad as he made her out to be.
I think she is much too young to be manipulative, only 13.
She is rather immature and shy. She allowed him to have his way because she was scared of what he would do.
Furthermore, I have found that my YF has lied about numerous things he has told me. I trust her until I can gain his trust again.

I spoke with her tonight, and she told me that what he says goes.
If he wants something, he will end up getting it.
Her saying 'NO', and he working his way to getting her in the mood for it.

Everything this girl says contradicts what my YF has told me.
And when I approach my YF about it, he goes crazy.
Not denying it, but attacking me unforgivingly.


After the threat of self-harm, he came back.
He wrote a message, which seemed very heartfelt describing his feelings and such.

But when I moved back to the issue, his mood changed instantly.
He began calling me names and attacking me; 'that I am not normal, that I should get out of his life, that I don't deserve friends'.

I see this as 'hitting a nerve' with him.
Whenever I approach the issue he is uncomfortable with, he attacks me.
He will not accept that he pressured her, and is very insecure about it.

His excuse was, "she is lying". "She wants to hurt me".
But to contradict this, I mentioned that she told me not to tell him.

Again he goes berserk, and finally leaves.

---

The next day, he insisted that I speak to her again and get the truth.
Instead, I made it work this way:

The conversation was secretly three way.
He spoke to her, asked questions, and she answered him.
He relayed these answers to me, but unknowingly, I was getting those answers from her as well.

It seems both kids are at fault here.

- She didn't feel as if she was ready, but did verbally accept on some occasions under pressure.

- He apparently didn't know that she didn't feel ready, however I think there are strong indications that she wasn't
(Wanted to wait until she was 16, showing reluctance to do it).

- He took more interest in sex than her emotional needs, which is why she is upset.

- He continuing after she tells him 'No' did happen.
She told me this, yet he never relayed this to me.

- The crying incident was because he was paying more attention to doing it than having her enjoy it.
He kept going, because this was at the end according to him.
But he hugged her afterwards, and she confirms this.

- The Condom incident is unresolved.
She told me that he never told her, HOWEVER she now tells me he may have and she forgot.
He is adamant that he did propose the idea to her, and she refused.
(Why doesn't she remember? If she felt pressured for sex, why would she not want to control it in this way?
Also, when I first proposed this idea to YF, he had the answer instantly that he should keep them).

I am concerned, because I am not getting full stories here.
I am starting to worry that he has told her something to prevent her from telling me about her story.
After all, she DID tell me that he mentioned nothing of it; now it has become "Uh, I might have forgotten".

---

NOW, I called him on the phone and confronted him about the 'No' incident, and other small differences in the stories I recieved.

The 'No Incident': He said that he kept going for a while, and stopped later on.
I will have to talk to her about it.

He sticks to his story about the condoms, that he told her the idea and she denied it.
The condom story is essentially the icebreaker here.
If he admits that he wanted to keep the condoms, it will confirm that he wanted to choose when to have sex, and he didn't care if she didn't.

I gave him the whole legal thing, about 'if she says no, you must stop'.
And I think that he realized this, and became quiet.

After this I apologized for being very angry at him, and he understood that what happened was very serious and why I was angry with him.
He apologized for being a bastard to me, and wants to visit tomorrow afternoon.

---

It seems that things have sorted out, but I still feel that there are parts that aren't covered.

My beleif, is that he wanted sex more than her, and that he convinced her and got her in the mood to do it, knowing well that she was hesitant about it.

If I accuse him of anything, he gets very defensive.
He doesn't want to risk me telling his parents about it.
I feel that he knows he did wrong, but wants to put it behind him, and does this by being friendly to me again and acting like he used to.

But on the other hand, I am still talking to his GF, and she is hurting over this.
She told me tonight that all he wanted was sex, and that he made faces as if he was enjoying it. He didn't pay attention to her, only his enjoyment.

---

I just want to get the hell out of this fight.
I got caught in this mess, and I'm trying to fight my way out.

I think that some BL want to lower the age of consent, but to me this is first hand proof that some children are simply not emotionally ready or mature enough to make appropriate decisions regarding sex.

Both kids are between Children and Adults.
They have all the feelings of an adult, yet the judgment of children.

The laws exist for this reason, not to punish anyone.
But simply to assure that incidents like these do not happen, that no one gets hurt.

Thanks for reading.