Hi Magnet55,

Wow, that WAS an obscenely long post :-) I have a tendency to that, too, though, so I really have no room to complain.

That's a fascinating recounting of your experience! Thanks for sharing. I can't, in my own life, think of any one similar "defining experience" that has shaped my sexuality so directly. It's more just a general sense of uncertainty and confusion about who I was. [I won't try to rehash what I have described in other recent posts...] I do find myself relating in other ways, though. I was also very shy and reserved (though it seems you grew out of that, with you theatre experience). And, I also had a very sheltered experience growing up, and that left me often feeling unable to relate to other more "normal" boys. I didn't have a camp experience like you, but can relate to being a little self-righteous about various things -- that's a characteristic that doesn't exactly help to "endear" one to one's peers. BTW, I'm a Trek fan, too. But I can't say I have ever gone as far as including the Betazoid language in everyday speech. That's pretty geeky ... but as a geek myself, I use the term with affection :-)

For what it's worth, I appreciate your outlook on your attractions, and how you seem to be committed to honoring God in the way you deal with them. It can be difficult, but He is faithful; as we continually trust Him and submit our feelings to Him, He will help us to live a life of freedom.

You seem to have quite an ability to make new friends, particularly young ones. Just be careful about walking too close to the line of what is appropriate and honoring to God, and what is not. [I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong; just be careful, that's all.]

By the way, I like your writing style. You write very clearly and explain things well. And in that mammoth post (which I read twice), I can't recall seeing any typos. That's an achievement :-)

Blessings,
Rainboy