Mason,

Yes, it is very confusing. We have ALL been in your shoes, ALL been your age, and some are sharing these experiences with you now. You are not alone in these problems and steps of life.

As I said, just pray, find peace, and let God's light lead you on the staircase.

You know it only takes on angry parent to ruin everything, and I'd hate that to be directed at you. Maybe no one would find out, but it only takes once.

I hope, that, your friendship isn't just based on this affection. Your YF is a very shallow friend, in deed, if you refuse him intercourse and it ends such a close relationship. REALLY, friendship is more than just physical love. Love is in the time spent together, playing video games, going out, sharing life together. A few days of confusion versus years of fiendship is not the end of the road.

Try reading what you wrote. It's like a mirror. I think you'll find the person you are reading to be a surprise. Sometimes emotionally charged dialog is best viewed when it's staring back at you. Consider all these options.

Your realizations are fine. Just realize some of what has been said to you here is also God speaking to you. Take care and keep updated on this. We are all praying for you.

In Him,
Oliver