Christian BoyLove Forum #53067
My Responese: Thanks For The Help.
Posted by Mason on 2008-03-13 13:13:16, Thursday
In reply to I NEED HELP + Our Great Weekend Together (LONG) posted by Mason on 2008-03-12 18:14:28, Wednesday
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WOW, Thanks for all the support and ideas.
I'll try to respond to everyone. We just met so I don't know to what extent you want a bf or want to have male-male sex - Robert-I It's nice to meet you. In my past here, I expressed my confusion over my sexuality. You can read about it here: http://www.cblf.org/messages/52884.htm I'm still a little confused as to which side of the fence I am on; and I am a bit hesitant about actual sex with another guy. But I'm interested in other sexual things. I think... maybe... you should just be honest? - Youth?? I have thought about it. I really don't want to give him the impression that the love I have showed him in the past had anything to do with my feelings now. The sexual feelings I have towards him developed after I started being physically close to him. But I'm not sure how he took this affection from the beginning. I think you are being entirely too physical with him. 15 is way past the age when cuddling is done just for innocent comfort. It's sexual, and I think you know that. - Dakota I posted here a long time ago, about what eventually led to our relationship. Come to think of it, it was my first post. He was very lonely, emotionally neglected and sought an older brother. Though he is 15 now, he still is rather immature & emotional. He admitted that he was trying to change himself and 'be a big boy'. Yet it looks to me, that he is still trying to find the attention and love that he was deprived of when is was younger. Problem is, apart from the touching and face stroking, I wouldn't be able to tell if it had 'mutated' into something sexual for him. It basically is the same affection we he showed me when we first became affectionate. ... is that he is a horny straight boy or confused bi boy who is reacting to the intimacy you offer by getting worked up enough to do something that, once it's done, he'll feel bad about. - Robert-I The Bisexual scenario fits well with the situation. He does talk a lot about sex, and is curious about it. I mentioned before that he has a sexual relationship with a young girl (13), but the romantic side of the relationship is lacking. Of course, they are only kids; and so it does bother me. NOW!; What I am seeing, is that he is more open and intimate with me than he is with a female. He still has the child mentality; and is confused as to how females work, their emotions ect. *My take, is that he relates the physical love and affection I give him with the male gender, as opposed to the female gender he only uses for sex. His subtle sexual advances could be seen as an attempt to bridge his emotional needs with his sexual ones* He may just be an ordinary horny straight teenager. Teenagers have all those newly discovered hormones driving them crazy and they will often want to have sex with just about anything, and who better than a trusted friend? And I also agree he may regret it later. - Dakota I too initially had the idea that I would regret it later. And once it's done, he would then associate all my love as sexual, and it could sever our bond as good close friends. A night of passion, could end up being something we both regret down the line. But alternatively, it could be simply that he is Gay or Bisexual. Rather than a deep secret mistake, it could be a forward step in discovering his and my sexuality. Think about the future -- beyond just the here and now (and the momentary excitement taking this relationship further might bring). What will be the implications of these decisions you make? For you? For your YF? And, ignoring for a moment the matter of what is right and wrong, what if you were caught? Could you live with the consequences? - Rainboy I could see ourselves in a Gay relationship easily, because already you could call it one now. We go to the movies, shopping, sleeping together and general physical intimacy. But the chance of it being moot with everyone around us is unlikely. I'd be shunned by my friends and family. Let alone HIS family who already assume that I am gay, and try to stop him from visiting (So I don't turn him gay or some other BS; did I mention that I've been nothing but kind to them! lol). Considering that he is young, only destroys the chance of any open relationship. BUT, we could still continue what we are doing, (him visiting and spending close time together). The only difference is sexual. Nobody would know. If you give that to the wrong person, you make it more difficult on yourself and your friend. He may discover this with another friend. He may risk going all the way down, but it is his risk and his choice. - Oliver I am young, and so I really couldn't project any future relationships; I don't even know what sexuality I am. The thing that worries me is that, If I don't act out this 'bond' with him, I may lose him to someone else. Even the love aspect of out relationship would be ruined. For example, YF & YF2, who both admitted to me that they had bisexual feelings; who both slept together virtually naked. If I turned down his sexual advances, would he act on them with YF2? I'm very protective of him, and already I can't stand the fact that he is having heterosexual sex. I wouldn't cope if I lost him; especially if I had the chance to be with him. But I had made my mind up that that was not the kind of relationship that I wanted to have with him - Chris Thanks for writing. We both have similar relationships I think. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with 'L'? I don't know your current relationships, but wouldn't you be at peace with yourself, being with the one you loved? - William Thankyou I will keep that in mind. I hope that god does direct me the right way in this situation. Play dumb, as you are now, but eventually, you're going to have to ask him outright what he means - CliveStaplesLewis Hmm. Firstly thanks for the link, very interesting. Something I have been thinking about the most, is how do I bring up the idea. What can I say to let him know that I understand that he wants to do something. I was thinking of something around the words of: He tries to bring up the idea, and I respond with " You wan't to do this?" and wait for him to confirm it. I really have no idea what to say. It needs to be something that recognizes his feelings, but gives me a way to turn it into a joke to save my ass if he reacts negatively. Any ideas? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now. I was a bit uncomfortable to mention this in my first post. The night he stayed, He told me he was going to masturbate because he was horny. He went on two different occasions, lol. And to further this confusion, he told me he had received two blow jobs that day! And right after this, was when he asked for me to do something like that for him. It certainly doesn't bother him to tell me these things. It just seems as if he was just very horny (because of me?) and wanted something. ----- And finally, I'm a bit worried tonight. He called this afternoon in a rush, because his Girlfriend had sneaked over and they had 30 minuts to spare. He wants me to download porn for him, perhaps because he can't get it up? Whether this has anything to do with sexual attraction, I don't know. Maybe he has lost his sexual attraction towards his girlfriend? And very lastly; He won't answer my calls or texts tonight, so I assume that something bad has happened between them again. Every time they are together, they conflict, he becomes angry and doesn't want to talk. Sadly, I hope that their relationship ends. He doesn't get anything but sex and social recognition for it now; he is relying on me for comfort as much as the beginning. A nasty thought I had would be somehow letting her parents (catholic) know what she is doing; at least then will they stop this madness. And then hes all mine: No, thats just too mean!! I won't bother him now, because he usually snaps back with something hurtful. So I'm praying for him, hope that he isn't upset. I miss him. Thanks again for all your replies. I enjoyed reading them. |
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