It seems to me that Ladycat is still buying the lie. *All* the evidence points away from this conclusion, and Scripture is nowhere near as clear as those promoting the lie claim it is. I assume you remember the Bible study from www.InclusiveOrthodoxy.org and what young Mr. Cannon concludes. He's far from alone in those conclusions, and other more in-depth papers have been published and buried.


Has Ladycat read that study, or something similar? True, it only shows that the Bible doesn't condemn gays, and doesn't directly address boylovers' specific issues, but it proves her point if not solidly wrong, at least indefensible. The truth is that all "repairative therapy", whether done by a group or trying to do it on your own, is harmful and futile, capable only of changing behavior at their best and succeeding in increasing depression, apostasy, and suicide rates to alarming levels. You have tried for how many years to achieve that deceptive goal, and yet all you could manage was a false veneer of heero behavior: the same veneer that any and all ex-gays report and call "cured". It's not because you're "weak" or "undisciplined" or "lacking in faith" or "not trying hard enough" or "not worthy"; it's because you are trying to something literally impossible, and something God doesn't actually want you to do. Of **COURSE** you can't succeed! You're not supposed to.

God made you gay, even a BL, for a reason. I don't know for sure what those reasons might be, though I've got my theories, which I'm sure are echoed in each of our souls every time we see a boy smile at us jsut becasue we smiled at them, but I am very very certain God has reasons a-plenty for why you are a BL. Ladycat's fears predispose her to not see this. It is a painful idea to say that no only is she wrong, but her marriage is built from day one on a lie. Not that your love isn't real, but the marriage is not. Of course she doesn't want to face that, of course she wants to cling to the comfortable lie that it could all work out "the way it should" in the end, of course you want that too. But it just isn't so. The demon of fear has caught you both as so many others and for a long time myself as well in its web of lies and half-truths and misunderstandings and your soul is trying so hard to escape.... that I'm waxing poetic over it.


I think I've made my point though. maybe Ladycat should take a long, hard look at the exegesis and the science and ask God to show her God's will directly through that.

With love in Christ,
~CSL