You know what I'm going to say, but I'm still going to say it.

Accepting divorce in your situation would not, IMHO, be giving up on your marriage, but rather abandoning a hurtful situation based on a lie. Your mutual love for each-other is not, in reality, eros, but philios. It is real, and worthy of being acknowledgement for what it is, worthy of not trying to force it to be something it's not based on false, harmful baseless theologies and quack science. It's not quiting on your marriage, it's succeeding at having an appropriate relationship honoring each-other's true selves instead of hurting each-other.

And that is a good thing.

Again, just my opinion to be taken of left.

Love in Christ,
~CSL