Had the talk to my wife.

She said she won't stay with me if:
a) I continue to masturbate (thinking about boys of course).
b) I continue to fantasise about boys during sex with her.

So where does that leave me?
"If you can't get to orgasm with me, you go without" she says.

Sounds a reasonable thing for a wife to ask of her husband.
also sounds impossible.

Just this morning I felt aroused. The idea of going to my wife for relief made me feel nauseous.
I also knew that as soon as she touched me that there was no way I was going to be able to keep boy thoughts out of my head.
So I did nothing... just trying to put up with it.

I so SO SO don't want to quit on my marriage.
But I don't believe I'll be able to live up to her conditions.

What should I do?

Blessings
Cat.