And now for something completely different.

This is a brief (?!) essay I have written on Attachment. I'd be interested in any feedback.

Attachment Dynamics.

As social creatures we are compelled, for survival reasons, to become attached to people and objects in our environment so that we may collectively:
*Be safe
*Be loved and nurtured
*Develop an identity (understand our place and purpose in the world)
*Have our basic needs met
*Reproduce offspring

Our brains produce a particular chemical called Oxytocin that helps facilitate the forming of attachments. Oxytocin is a hormone produced by the brain during orgasm, breast feeding and labor as well as at other signification relational moments. Science has discovered that Oxytocin facilitates sexual arousal, social recognition and bonding, understanding of the emotion significance of our tone of voice when we speak, maternal behavior, and that it increases trust and reduces fear*. (*This info comes from Wikipedia).
This means that attachment involves physical, chemically engineered feelings in our body that are very compelling and not easily ignored.

Things which motivate attachment (or the release of Oxytocin).
These could be called “instinctive” motivators as we respond to them without needing a conscious choice to do so.
*A child’s bonding to its parents and other caregivers.
*Parents bonding to their children
*A desire for Peer acceptance.
*Sex drive (a desire to have a romantic/sexual companion)
*Worship
*Nesting (collecting objects and building a safe and secure environment).

Once we are attached, our attachment motivates us to certain desires.
*We want to see the OOA (Object of Attachment). There really is something to be said for just looking at the OOA aside from any interaction with it. Eg. A parent watching its child playing in the park. The parent does not need to interact with the child, just to see it makes the parent feel safe. If the child disappeared from sight the parent would become immediately distressed.
*A desire to protect the OOA
*A desire to nurture the OOA
*A desire to give to the OOA
*A desire to be in relationship with the OOA (to love and be loved)
*Wanting to spend time with the OOA
*Wanting to touch and be touched by the OOA
*A desire to be interested in the OOA and have the OOA be interested in you. Apart from the obvious manifestation of this in interpersonal relationships, a striking example of this is in a person’s attachment to their favorite sports team. A person so attached knows the names and personal details of the team’s players, supports the team with much enthusiasm and is emotionally affected by their losses and victories. Such a person would be greatly blessed by having the team acknowledge them and spend time focused on them (thus autographs or meet the team events are popular and it would be a desired privilege to be invited into the locker room post victory).
*A willingness to sacrifice and suffer for the OOA
*(if there is a sexual drive then:) A desire to engage the OOA sexually.

Ways in which Attachment Dynamics Build relationships.
*Oxytocin increases the pleasure received from relating with an OOA.
*Attachment causes us to overlook the negatives and emphasize the positives in our interactions with our OOA.
*We take delight in the OOA (pleasure is derived from the mere existence of our OOA).
*We take identity from the OOA and our relationship with it/them.
*We take purpose from the OOA and our relationship with it/them.

Attachment Problems
Attachments can lead to some unhealthy problems:
*Enduring in an abusive/one-sided relationship
*Addictions
*Over-dependence on the OOA. Ie: looking to the OOA to meet needs that it is not able or not responsible to meet. Sometimes we invest some things that are our responsibility onto our OOAs. Eg. When we tell someone we love that they are annoying us. Unless they are deliberately provoking us, it is not their responsibility to protect us from frustration. Managing our frustration is our own responsibility.
*Habitual Sin – if we become attached to something contraband.
*Grief if we lose the OOA.
*Violence. The saying “there is a fine line between love and hate” comes about because of attachments to people that turn sour. When one is still strongly attached to something/someone, that has hurt them badly (such that their feelings towards that OOA are all negative) then the attachment will manifest in intense feelings of hatred and resentment.

Attachments and Morality
As Christians we are taught that our attachments are to be guided by Godly instruction. Some attachments are healthy and godly whilst others are evil/wicked/self-serving/corrupting/ungodly.
(Heb 10:24-25; Eph 4; 2 Cor 6:14; 1 Cor 15:33; Eph 5:22-32; 1 John 2:15).
Largely sin comes about from forming ungodly attachments.
I’m very interested in considering attachment dynamics in relation to our struggle against sin. I think that recognizing that sin problems are not just a question of making choices, but also recognizes that we become chemically bonded or attached to certain ideas/people/behaviors and overcoming needs to deal with breaking negative attachments and reforming them in more godly fashions.

Thanks for reading
Blessings
Cat.