Hey Chappy!
Great to have you around. I hope you stay - this really is a great place for support. I find that when I end up leaving this board, my life starts going the otherway bit by bit - its a great lot to be hanging around with!

Anyways, as for your question as to how to get through life with this, well, I'd say like any other Christian (well, person, but I'll use Christians as an example). We have an attraction that we can't act on. So do heterosexual Christians who aren't married. Granted it is a lot different - we have a lot more restrictions and we don't have the "light at the end of the tunnel" of being married and eventually getting act on our attraction. In that way, it is more difficult, and we just need to make due. But in all reason, life shouldn't be just about this attraction of ours.

I had a lot of trouble with this for a while ... and still do, just not as much. I was one of those persons who did most things, but wasn't really great at anything. Played sports, but was never the best player. Played instruments, but was never the best at it. Was good at school, but no Einstein. Wasn't even particularly kick ass at any video games. I really didn't have much to concentrate things on.

I initially dealt with it by just keeping busy - which actually turned out well because I ended up doing a lot of volunteer work. But still, things were missing.

I'm lucky now because I have both found a hobby I really enjoy and can put a lot of time into in improving. I have also found a girl that I really really like, and may be the "one" (I like boys and women).

But another things, coming back to the Christian theme, is God. Most people, including myself, have difficulty keeping God front and center in their life at all times. If you find yourself having problems keeping thoughts in the right places and what not, devote some serious time in your relationship in God. Not only will that keep you busy, but it will develop things to the point where God is simply larger in your life than boys and you can control things.

As far as the negatives and darkness ... I couldn't imagine putting boys through some of the horrors that have happened. Its the worst thing in the world to me. That really would be horrible, but if you've read any of my posts about this topic in the past, I believe that God is on top of all of this and really, I think the only thing we need to worry about working on our relationship with God and making an effort to be the purest being we can be, and God will take care of the rest.

I realize I was really just typing letters here and this was over all pretty vague, but I think there might be something valuable here, so I'll leave it.

Anyways, welcome, and I hope to hear from ya soon!

Graces of God,
Deliverance