Cat, it comes down to this.

I just read a book about the endless connections between God and sex.

Now as the title suggests, I know nothing about being married, but I know a good bit about marriage.

There are two parts to marriage Cat.
(and if anyone agues this FACT don't argue it with me, please)

Physical Marriage, which actually is simply the ceremony, being legally married, this is neccesary for the spiritual bond.

I don't know if you know much about Jewish marriages, but people would litteraly wait outside a room, which in it the new married man and woman, would indeed, BECOME ONE IN THE FLESH, they would wait, because the real party didn't start until the spiritual marriage.

You and your wife became one in the flesh.
If you are NOT attracted to her, thats like spiritual divorce.

Cat, that isn't healthy, and not to stand on your shoulders, but think about if you really wish to be married to her at all.