From all your posts concerning your wife, my opinion is that she will always feel threatened by boys, no matter what you do. Even if you totally ignore boys (which I doubt you can do, I couldn't), she will still "see" things. Such as, if a boy crosses your path, your wife will "see" you looking at him, whether you did or not.

Normally, I would reccomend joint counceling. But councelors are accustomed to dealing with wives who feel threatened by every woman that comes along, not boys. So I doubt counceling would help. But you could give it a try if you don't mind coming out to someone. Personally, I wouldn't take the risk considering the small chance of it helping at all.

I think you are going to have to accept the fact that your wife will never accept you as a BLer, no matter what you do. If I were you, I would put the ball in her court. Tell her you are what you are. Only God can change what you feel inside and He hasn't chosen to do so. So you are trying to live as Godly a life as possible under circumstamces that you do not have the power to change. She can either accept that and deal with it the best she can, as you have done for years, or she can not accept it and live in constant torment like she is doing now, or dissolve the marriage. I would let it be her decision because if you are the one to divorce her, she will play the victim and go thru life with the idea that YOU left HER for boys. Once you put it all on the table like that, just go about your business trying to be what God wants you to be, not what she wants you to be. You might feel less pressure to pretend you are something you are not. Let the chips fall where they may, because no matter how much you may want things to work out a certain way, there isn't a thing you can do about it except get an ulcer or have a nervous breakdown, which I think you are well on your way to achieving.

Dakota