If this guy loves you and cares for you, he does not need you to be his sexual plaything. He should respect all your personal boundaries, that's what a good friend does. And he shouldn't just take advantage of you because he knows how to make you do what he wants. That's manipulation. Comfort warmth and a sense of intimacy are good things! But it doesn't have to mean sex. Sex is not and will not be an equivalent to love. If you have been close to him for 3 years and going, asking him to respect your boundaries, which is your right, should not cost you your friendship. You are a person with the right to choose-- if he wants something from you that you don't want to give him, he doesn't deserve to have it. You sound so confused. Perhaps the reason he doesn't talk about what happened is because he regrets it too, or feels guilty. I don't think he is gonna bring it up unless you do it first so, try and stick up for yourself and do what's right, because if you don't, well, it's gonna keep on killing you inside. Take care and hopefully your friendship will keep going strong.