I've been this way since I was 14. It never ends. I hate it.
Joined the military, so I dont have to be around kids. I dont want to risk anything.

I had a LOT of fun before 18 (boyscouts ftw, me and a few kids got it on every week), but now I realized it needs to end. Now. It was legal then, but not now. So far I've been a good law-abiding citizen.

But I know this is just a temporary solution. the military thing, that is. What do I do to.. stop? To stop all this?
Hypnotherapy?
Heck, I'd take gay even, or even straight. but being a gay BL? Ugh, wtf, why me...
It doesn't help AT ALL that I love to surf and bike in my spare time. What do you find on the beach and on bikes? Hot boys in trunks and spandex, that's what. That sure doesn't help. :(

Currently 19. I know to some of you that's practically a kid. [Edited]. Weee.

Cant say what branch or base, for all I know half of you are feds looking for potential sickos like me. :(

So please please, PLEASE. Give me advice. Websites to visit, drugs to take, maybe an anonymous phone number to call for counseling.

[Edited]

I don't want to see a shrink, the last thing I want is actually talking to someone face2face about this mental plague. It would be too embarrassing. Plus I'm only 19, and I don't exactly want to be raped either (I look 15 or so, which really sucks)
My parents would hate me forever. So I can't tell them.
...Or my Commander or First Sergeant for that matter. :P

- Confused and Scared (and searching Google for help)



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