I don't know.

There was a time when I would have said yes without any hesitation. But nowadays, I have come to realize what an important part of who I am this is. If I were not a BL, not only would I not be the same person, but I'm not sure I'd even be as effective in the ministries I am involved with. It's very obvious why God made me the way I am and to change myself from BL to straight would be an act of direct defiance against God. This is who he made me to be and not only am I happy being the person God made me, but if I were anything else, I would be incapable of completing God's purpose for my life.

On the other hand, there are brief periods of disappointment during which I am certain if I had a straight pill I would have to struggle not to take it.


PS. The fact you focus on the sexual aspects so much in this post is rather disturbing, as is the fact you admit to the use of pornography (whether written or otherwise).