Hey Brian
Nice to hear from you. A few notes. You may wish to restrict just how much you reveal on this public forum, such as location and name and other identifying things.

Anyways, sounds like you've had a bit of a rough ride. You can't mention any illegal activity on the board here, but I'm curious as to what this "certain devastation in the not so distant past" was, if you are comfortable sharing. Hopefully not to serious. We are about the same age, and I sometimes find it scary when I look at "if I did that" and just who my entire life could be ruined. God's been with me so far and I've been strong, but faith is really whats keeping me on the tracks I think.

Anyways, Sam sounds so adorable! As for the psychologist, I'd probably smack him upside the head. I really pray that you will receive healing from the scaring treatment that you've received. But one thing that I can really relate to is "It felt like I was back where I belonged" when you saw Sam again. I know exactly what you mean - you get to pick him up or hold him and see him smile and the whole world melts away and for a fleeting moment you can see the connection between the two of you in his eyes and you just want time to stand still. That is one of the most beautiful things on earth for me - those moments. You are a lucky guy in that respect, to have that kind of relationship despite what you've been through. You are blessed! God has definitely been kind to you!

Now, I'm not sure exactly what the bad thing was that happened, but it sounds like some heat was sent your way because of your minor attraction. Maybe during this time it might be best to go through some self-sacrifice and deferred gratification and maybe separate yourself a bit from that boy and other boys. It doesn't mean that society was right, but unless you want to live a life outside of society (and people have done it but not many, ie Gandhi, etc) you are going to have to play by their rules to a degree. Pray about it. You can't be a blessing in a boys life if your community won't let you near boys. So maybe some abstinance is called for. maybe not. Not really sure of your situation, but I just thought I'd throw it out there as some advice that may be relevant.

Anyways, have a good evening and I hope you stick around!

Graces of God,
Deliverance