Yes, I am alive.

Alive in Christ that is.

Hello my friends. It has been a long time (again). Each time I am drawn here I feel it marks in me a significant change in who I am. This time, I have made many discoveries about myself and my faith.

Although, I will admit that these past few months, I have probably come closest to dying than I ever have in the past. I also began a short stint of cutting. While it felt good to exert that little control over my life, it also left me empty.

I have lost pretty much everything a man can lose in this life (except I wish I could drop a pound or two!). The stress that I was under from my attachment to those things was unbearable. I didn't want to lose them and it hurt like hell to know they were in danger of being taken from me.

Through this loss however, I have grown. God has shown me just how meaningless everything here on earth truly is.

Do you remember the man that asked Christ what he had to do to be saved. Christ told him to follow the Law perfectly. The man lied (probably even to himself) saying that he has kept them all since he was a child and asked what else.

Christ told him to sell everything he owned and follow Him. The man went away sad because he could not do it (and proving that he had not even kept the first commandment. His possessions were more precious to him than God).

God is truly, the only thing that matters to me now. My faith has grown because of my utter reliance on him. The past few years have been exceedingly difficult to bear, but seeing what I have now in Christ... How could I look at it as anything but a blessing and to praise God?!?

Truly God is the worker of all that is good! A wonderful architect is he!

I will return later tonight. I see many new faces and it is wonderful to see all my friends still here!

Peace be with you.