A while ago Cat asked for my story so if it is boring he must share the blame! Here goes to get it off my chest:

Fortunately I was born to a very broadminded religious family.

Aged 8 I was sent to boarding school. I loved the school but I was not learning as my memory played tricks with me, 3 years later I was sent to a very rough boarding school for backward boys and I continued to fail all my exams!

Aged 11 I was desperate for sexual pleasure with any another boy and was finally directed to an older boy who let me lay on top of him every other day to relieve my sexual drive. Curiously he never seemed to need me.
After a year of this relationship he left that school and I felt that my reputation for the future must be clean in thought word and deed, even though most of the other boys knew how to enjoy being boys! I was very different from them and they accepted it nicely.

Aged 13 I went to my next boys boarding school, and realized that I really was a pedophile but kept it entirely to myself. -Very painful physically.

At 17 I left school and then lived a hectic social life with girls in the hope that I might change my orientation but after 3 years I succumbed to my attraction for boys though I continued courting the girls as a cover. I remained celibate to the age of 23 until a delightful delinquent boy that I was caring for was too much for my self control when I discovered his erection while sitting on my lap. His comment to my discovery was: "I thought you never would!"

At this point I visited a psychiatrist weekly for the next 10 years who used Freudian theories though I was not impressed. He did however give me LSD which I think possibly helped: on one occasion I imagined I was fastened to a wall and was to be stoned to death. I literally felt I had died of fear, and then saw myself taken away in the ambulance. The memory still makes my heart pound.

While under therapy I had two more loving relationships that tailed off at puberty. But from that time on I have managed to remain celibate. I also smoked marijuana, much to the disapproval of my therapist, which I think did more than anything else to help distract my desires.

At about 35 I invited a 70 year old educated eccentric vagrant to live in one end of my house which enabled me to associate with boys without appearing to be entirely on my own. He hated boys but remained with me for 20 years to the end of his life.

Aged about 40 I cared for a 13 year old boy who had run away from his home because his stepfather had been physically abusing him. He lived with me for 3 years and then left to work. 28 years later I was recovering from a bad mysterious illness, (possibly brought on by overwork and the absence of boys) when he telephoned to ask how I was, and to cut a long story short he wanted me to care for his 11 year old stepson who had behavioral problems. The boy stayed with me over Christmas and we bonded immediately. He is still with me after two glorious years. The sexual attraction was as strong as ever but now he is 14 the attraction is at last decreasing.

Glad to share my life at last and I hope it will help those that are realizing the difficult circumstances that they have been born with.

"So far you have faced no trial beyond what man can bear. God keeps faith, and he will not allow you to be tested above your powers, but when the test comes he will at the same time provide a way out, by enabling you to sustain it."
God bless you all.
William