I've found this forum really useful, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets a great deal from what you've all done, even though I haven't posted myself. Please know that you have created something that is a comfort for many, even if they remain silent and anonymous.

I'm a young adult (perhaps even young enough to be loved by some who post here but I don't know). I know that I've loved boys since I was... well... a boy, and I've often beaten myself up about it, and tried to snap myself out of it, etc... etc... I'm starting to stop that now and realise that it might well be part of me.

I love boys in so many ways. I admire their beaty, their inquisitiveness, their courage, their energy. I am in a very strange situation in that I think I know what it is like to be loved by someone who, perhaps themself, is a boylover. I am a good friend of a middle aged guy who used to be a youth worker at my church. We've been great friends since I was about 13 and our friendship has grown and grown. Many a night we have sat up and chatted - he has helped me through so much.

I must confess that this individual has got closer than maybe he should have. He has touched me fairly intimitely but I would never return the 'favour' (it just isn't right the other way). We just got really close but not in a sexual way, at least not from my end. Although it felt nice to start with, I realise now it hasn't really done me much good. I don't blame him.

Now I am growing up I realise the age gap between me and the ones I love is increasing. I am also in a position of responsibility for looking after young people. I am so grateful for the job I have been given and would do anything to protect them. And I would NEVER go as far as to be intimate with the boys I see every day. I will however give up every waking hour to ensure that they feel safe and happy.

I feel really alone and feel like I have to conceal the 'truth' to everybody. If only people knew how much I really felt about the young people I worked with and really, REALLY understood...
I know I am good at my job, and that's because I put so much passion towards it.

Thankyou for reading this. I've wanted to write this down for a while. Not even really sure what I want from this (maybe just a friendly reply). I hope it all makes sense.

If I just help ONE person in my life and make them really happy within themselves, then I think my life has been worth living.

God bless
x