Hi guys. This is me. I posted this on BC, where I use a different nick, but NG and I are the same guy. I have a big, big decision to make very soon. Within a few days at most, and probably within 48 hours. This post will be quite long and perhaps boring, so I feel it's only right to warn you before starting! I've talked to Jesus about this turn in my life, and though I believe in Him, He's great at listening, not so good at talking back and giving specific advice. If you guys believe in Someone else or no one at all, cool with me. I completely respect. But this decision I must make is wracking my brain and causing me some stress. Here are the details. Long and drawn-out, but, I gotta tell the whole story.

Most of you guys know I'm one of those expats, one of those guys who chucked it all a few years ago to head South of The Border, to have a life where friendly shoeshine boys are part of the equation. By trade, I teach the English language. Some of you know that several months back, I got fired from the colegio (kids' private school) where I'd worked, or survived, about 6 years. Nothing about BL. People liked me personally, I just couldn't control the raving savage kids. It was wild, and I didn't have the discipline skills.

For a while, I taught at a university. A kind of half-assed, informal program for low pay, but the work was fun. Good people. However, it wasn't stable. The term ended, and so did the work. So since then, I've been mostly pounding the pavement, looking for work that really isn't there. Demand for gringo English teachers isn't what it used to be. Some good news is that I'm not in real financial difficulties. The colegio paid me liquidacion, and I have my investments back home. But I do want to work, to cover my monthly expenses, and to simply be useful in the world in something, however small, besides hanging out with and taking care of my shoeshine kids. But recently, it seems, there are too MANY work choices. Here are the details.

I've gotten a job and have worked a few days at a different colegio. It's just a few minutes' walk from my apartment, and it's a nice place. The discipline is 20 times better than where I was before. They have me teaching Social Studies in English to tiny, subhuman, ankle-biting 8-9 year-olds. There aren't many materials, and most of the lessons are double--that is, 80 minutes long instead of 40. The little kids, both boys and girls, are sweet little kids, and behave as well as they possibly can, but...they're still 8-9, and keeping a lid on their natural childish excitement for that long is tough. I feel nervous and on-stage in classes, but I hang in. Basically it's my voice and the whiteboard trying to keep classes of 35 kids in some sort of control. They’re adorable little kids personally, but I feel nervous and on-stage in classes.

The money sucks UNLESS, and this is big, they can give me work in the afternoon running a chess club or coaching a sport. That would be a big, big difference. But like many people here, they don't plan things in advance, and just have to see whether there's enough interest in chess to justify having me run a club. The work is stable, the place has a good reputation, they'd buy me a couple fancy suits (it's kind of a pompous place, and they're big on appearance), and they'd pay through vacations.

My other possibility is at a university near the previous one. Small, but well-known one. Also easy walking distance from my place. Near enough to the previous one to enjoy their track to run on and to go to their friendly chess club. I LIKE teaching university students. They're still young enough to laugh and be kind of playful, but obviously they've long outgrown discipline issues. Young adults. They have a lot of enthusiasm, and I feel more at home teaching them than teaching tiny critters. Probably the best of all would be well-behaved teenagers, but the colegio has filled all those positions.

Sounds great, but here, for gringo English teachers, it's not University Professor like, say, Harvard or Stanford. This would be straight-up hourly work, with probably no benefits. What's the pay? What's the schedule? How many hours? What's the possibility of the work being long-term? I'll know more tomorrow--the guy called me a couple hours ago and said the position's mine if I want it. He'll tell me details, at least as many details as he knows or is willing to say, tomorrow.

To top everything off, there are other possibilities, the most intriguing being teaching English to some secret police anti-drug force. They seem to offer good pay, and their training facility is beautiful, though a long, difficult bus ride each way, each day. Meanwhile, they keep saying the comandante is out of town, and lessons will start next week, etc. etc. The same thing they've said for the last couple weeks. Why exactly would they need to learn English? Perhaps they play both sides of the fence and negotiate with American drug people! I don't know.

Anyway, the university job offer will only keep for a couple days. The devil's in the details, and both the kids' colegio and the university have their advantages and disadvantages. I haven't gone into all of them here for both security and space-saving reasons, but it's tough. This is a life-changing decision I have to make, and I have to make it soon. I guess I'd just like to choose the place that makes me happy and makes me useful, to fulfill and enrich the lives of those I touch there. One way or another, I'll have to close some doors to open another one. Tough, and I in one way wish I had some crystal ball to foresee which one would be better. But of course, no one wants to KNOW the future, that would make life boring. All right, I know Jesus isn't about to chuck some lightning bolt down to "give me a sign"--come on, He's not into that stuff. He simply listens and (at least I believe) gave His life as an example. Like Ted Williams, He doesn't answer fan mail, or at least not mine.

Sooooo....I'm asking you guys for your thoughts and insights. What do you think and what should I be thinking? Thanks for reading this far.