Hey Nash!
Awesome to hear from ya! As far as your addiction, check out the email I sent ya yesterday. Don't let that get in the way of your relationship at all! Those feelings of freedom and joy come from (in my opinion and from my experience at least) a close, personal relationship with God. Within that relationship, God will help you deal with those thorns and you yourself will want to rid yourself from them (as you appear want so already). I've found that I really don't have the strength to do crap in this life, especially important stuff like addictions and what not. So what I find I have to do is to commit myself to the Lords will and put as much effort forward as I humanly can, but them really rely of the power of the Spirit to carry me through the tough stuff. Maybe give it a try. I always seem to fall anyways, but with practice I believe its the only option for me.

As far as going to church - congrats! I do enjoy going, and (Roman Catholic belief) receiving the body and blood of Christ within me. But just make sure you don't get caught up in the rituals and automatic actions. Seek to understand what is actually going on, and seek how every part of the mass is actually geared towards increasing your personal relationship with God. And if one church can't provide that for you, I would suggest that you keep looking until you find one that really fills that need, because for me that's the big things that counts - developing our personal relationship with God!

And on outing yourself to your pastor: I would strongly suggest against it. Again, like Dakota said, pastors are only people! What I did on my trip was different. I will likely never ever see that person again, and even if I do, it wouldn't be in my weekly life and in situations where I am around kids all the time. It would make for an uncomfortable situation, and it would put a lot of pressure on him.

But if you do wish to out yourself to a pastor at one point, I have a few suggestions. Really think and pray about it. The priest I talked with was probably one in a million in his views and how he dealt with the situation, but I prayed about it and felt that if I was going to do it, he would be the person to talk to. And I don't regret it (well, yet, at this point). Also, if you do do it, I suggest you do it in the setting of reconciliations, where (in the Roman Catholics at least) the priest cannot talk to ANYONE about what happened there under any circumstances (or suffer ex-communication, which nobody really wants these days).

That said, I still wouldn't recommend outing yourself to someone you see on a regular basis in regular social situations. Much like D's "independent outsider".

Really hope things work out for you Nash! God Bless, and talk to you soon!

Graces of God,
Deliverance