For me its easy to accept that we can love a boy in a holy manner with all our passions for him as long as we keep it non-sexual.

However, the question I'm wondering about is can we honestly make the separation.

The boy who holds my heart at the moment is making frequent appearences in my nightly dreams.

I even daydream about taking him out on adventures and having fun with him.

I am so pleased that none of it is sexual fantasy.

Or is it?

In one dream we were playing together and I put my arms around him and called him sweetheart.... is enjoying that so much sinful?

In the real world I shake his hand (real firm and manly like) and I swoon.
His smile brings me SO MUCH joy.

I only want the very best for him.
I want to be a blessing to him in everyway its possible for an adult friend to be a blessing to a boy.

The last thing in the world that I want is to stuff it all up with sex.

But does that mean I don't desire him?

Not at all... he is so beautiful to me in every way.

But I don't allow my thoughts to get sexy about him. Sometimes they stray that way... sometimes just thinking about his smile has an erotic thrill for me.

Where is the line?... I guess for me it is in what I choose to DO with these feelings.

I choose to honour him.
I choose to deny my lust.
I choose to pray for him.
I choose to look away when my eyes are tempted to wander where they ought not.
I choose to let him have his life and play the minor role (even though I want to live and breath for him).
I choose to bring my thoughts into captivity.
I choose to find ways to bring about his happiness by taking an interest in him, listening to him when he talks, getting him a birthday present I know he'll just love...

God bless you little guy... and may you look back on your life and remember that Cat was only ever a blessing to you and never a stumbling block.

Blessings
Cat.