I can relate to your sentiments about curbing the inherent loneliness of being a BL in this world with the presence of a BL friend in one's life. At one point I had several such friends and it helped immensely but I cut off ties when I got myself into legal trouble, a mixture of shame and thinking perhaps I was protecting them from being investigated as guilty by association. I tried to reconnect a couple years later but they'd either moved on or didn't want anything to do with me. I can't blame them for that but it doesn't make missing their friendship any easier, nor is it knowing it was my own stupidity that brought that termination about. I hope one day you find a BL friend IRL.

J

Come away, O human child,
to the waters and the wild
with a fairy hand in hand
for the world's more full of weeping
than you can understand