Coupla thoughts, Cat

Can I ask then, does everybody know your preferences rather than just your wife? I know if I ever told my wife I'd be asking her not to tell other people. She's been pretty good about this in the past so if she kept me at all after a revelation like that I reckon I'd trust her. Conversely if she didn't trust me I'd be out and pretty soon have no access to my own kids, let alone anyone else's. Hence I remain silent.

On the sex thing, if she's saying "don't touch me unless you really mean it" you have to ask, "DO I really mean it or am I just getting my rocks off out of biological necessity?" Whilst I'm only very slightly attracted to my wife in a sexual way I can still have sex because apart from everything else SHE needs it. Women are quite capable of looking elsewhere when frustrated so I owe it to her to bring her off occasionally. (Busy lives mean we rarely get it on more than a coupla times a month anyway.)

Because of the above, I really do "mean it" when I have sex with my wife. I mean "I love you" because I do, although not really sexually. I mean "I recognise that you have a need and I'm willing to fulfil it even if I wouldn't choose to of my own volition". I mean "I'm not willing to let you suffer because of my abberations". I mean "I'm trying to do the biblical thing and not deprive you". All those, I feel, say I love you as much as actually worshipping her body (which I never have and don't believe I could). I just wish it didn't feel deceptive when doing it... (sounds of a carefully constructed house of excuse cards blowing down?)

Anyway, as a result of our conversations I've started praying for you. I'm not Billy Graham so I can't promise amazing results but it all helps.

God bless you

EMPIRE

Have you ever talked to your wife about HER fantasy life? Believe me she has one, even if only fleetingly rather than all consumingly as males tend to have?