Hey Dude

What does your sexual fantasizing mean for your marriage? I dunno. For me it means I do and will continue to fantasize during sex although my fantasies tend to involve me as a kid rather than my doing anything to kids.

That doesn't make me feel better at all by the way, well OK, maybe slightly less guilty than when I slip into openly Sub/Dom type fantasies involving my son's friends, for example, but that's another story. I've tried anything and everything to 'get off' during sex with my wife but whilst I love her dearly in every way except sexually, the sex thing is what matters during sex (duh). A month's abstainance prior to sex or any other method of increasing my chances of a good performance are all tertiary to not being attracted to my partner, dammit.

I will continue to fantasize during sex. I will probably continue to feel guilty afterwards. Until a better way comes along this is certainly the lesser of evils, the worst of which would be to say "sorry, babes, no more sex - I just don't find you attractive 'cos I'm actually into boys". For her sake as well as my own pretense this is the way I will go.

Sorry I don't have a magic wand for you, Cat*, but for what it's worth you're one in a crowd with the self same situation and this should give you comfort - that is what this site is about after all, isn't it?

There's may be no solution, but we will continue. I don't believe there is any wholesome alternative. Any suggestions/comments welcome, however...

EMPIRE

*I can't even get one for the wife ;-)