A friend of mine recently encouraged me to accept myself (ummm... I tend to attract a bit of that :P).

He encouraged me that part of accepting myself was to accept that I'm married.

I've been thinking about that alot.

I... am... married.

This is the relationship God has placed me in. According to His word marriage is for life. There's no out clause because you discover that your sexuality makes it difficult for you to keep the vow you made to the woman you love.

I realise I've never really accepted that this is where I'm supposed to be (ie: where God has put me and wants me). I've always wanted something else other than what I've been given (ie: freedom to look at and fantasise about boys).

Time for Cat to repent of this.
I don't suspect that this will make any difference to my sexuality. Nor will it make it any easier to get the sex thing happening with my wife.

But

I think it is a significant attitude problem that I've had.

God help me to do Your will and bring every thought into captivity.

Cat.