After an event yesterday I have come to a conclusion.
I love my best friend.
But the problem is; I am afraid that I am attached.
And thats bad.

Attachement is good and bad depending on how obsessed you are over the attachment. When it reminds you that you love someone and motivates you to care for them then its a GREAT thing. When it makes you feel like you can't go a day without talking to them then it becomes unhealthy.

Trust that your friend is simillarly attached and will be equally motivated to be your friend and things will take their natural course.

Its when you try and force the relationship that you get into problems. Accept it for what it is, bring your expectations down to earth.


obviously I 'care way to much'
Wait! Is that really possible?

Of course if caring way to much = obessing and not leting him have a life apart from you then yes it is possible. Stand on your own feet. Take responsibility for your space and let him have his. Friendship is powerful stuff but it is nurtured by mutual giving and respect not by obsessive controling that "seems" to be caring.

I have him and nothing else
Work on developing some more relationships for your own sake as well as the friendships. You can't draw all your needs from just one person, they'll never be able to keep up.

I don't want to care so much that going a day without hearing from him kills me, or when he goes to hang out with other people, I get jealous.
This is where you exercise self-control over that voice in your head and renew your mind. Tell yourself you don't need to hear from him daily. That its ok and healthy for the two of you to have your own time and space to be with others. Don't listen to those controling voices that tell you to panic.


I don't know what to do...
If i should apologize...
If i should end it..
I am so confused...
No and no. Chill out. Relax. Give the guy and yourself some room to breath on your own. If he's really such a good friend bro he won't be going anywhere. Tell him what he means to you, but remember that you don't own him, nor can you. Obsessing will only drive him away.


[I never thought we'd make it out alive]
but you will :)

Blessings
Cat.