Here is an example of one of the things one of my Christian Friends said to me:

"Cat, Here is something for you to think about in relation to what you were discussing with me briefly yesterday. i.e. turning away from the desire to be a 10 year old.
When I was thinking about it, it came to me about another guy who was asked to sacrifice a boy. Abraham with Isaac.
In the NIV and Contemporary English version in Genesis 22, it says that God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son and it says he did so the very next morning. In other words he didn't mess around and linger wondering what to do.
In some versions of the bible it doesn't say the 'next morning' it just says he 'rose early in the morning'. You have to decide which way you want to take it, but whichever way you do you can't miss that he obeyed God.
You mentioned yesterday that letting go of your desire was a big thing for you.
I'm pretty sure that sacrificing Isaac was a big thing for Abraham. His one and only son, whom he had waited years for the promise to be fulfilled.
Perhaps his son could have been 10 years old.
I think there are many similarities between his situation and yours.
Yet, unlike Abraham, you are sitting around and wondering whether God wants you to sacrifice your desire to be a 10 year old i.e. to sacrifice your boy in a sense.
The fact that you don't want to let go, indicates to me that it is a major problem. You said that you aren't sure that you want to or need to. Just as in Abrahams case, if God does have a plan for that aspect of your life then he can surely raise it from the dead if he wants to.
The fellow from church yesterday also spoke in the evening service and spoke about Saul disobeying the Lord. The Lord through Samuel said that "Obedience was better than sacrifice". The guy at church mentioned how 95% obedience was not good enough in Sauls case and is not in ours either.
The fact that it is hard for you, is not an excuse to linger. Our attitude is to be 'Not my will but yours be done".As you said yesterday, you are wishing for and clinging onto something that is not reality. If you think you can do that without it affecting you and others, then I think you need to look around at the fruit that is coming from your marriage and your life. In saying this I am not trying to get stuck into you, but I think you need to stop dwelling in self pity and get on with it like Abraham did. The truth is what sets us free and the truth is that you are NOT a 10 year old boy.
By the way, I still care....."

Cat.