I have a few problems with your 'logical' argument, and I'll leave my issues with this "Amplified" Bible you're using, because so-far it hasn't said anything grossly wrong.

Let me start here:
The entire emphasis of this set of scripture is that IF you can't control yourself, get MARRIED, not MASTURBATE.

Perhaps this does not directly address Cat's situation, but I cannot marry a woman. It is impossible for me to meet the Biblical obligation to "give her her due" in the coital bed. (Cat knows all-too-well what that means.) Yet at the same time, I find that I am not cut out for celibacy. Perhaps you are right about masturbation (watch your spelling, people), but if so, it then appears that Jesus is calling me to be married to a young man or even a boy. I could give a young, legal husband his "due" (I think), so we shall err or that side of the age divide for the sake of clarity and simplicity.

In Christ,
~CSL