Exactly like all the way kind of stuff. I do get those kind of fantasies at times. I know they are just a normal part of my sexual drive and thinking, so I just put them away when they pop up, but sometimes I do get dreams like that. Not very often any more, however. When I was your age I would get them a lot more often and sometimes they didn't stop right away. Then I would have some laundry to do in the morning. I can't remember the last time that happened, though. I guess I've gotten past that kind of thing now.

Actually I think what you have with your friend is so much better. Putting your arm around someone or giving a boy a nice hug, those are such good things. Those are the things I miss the most from when "L" and I were together and they are the things I think about the most when I think about him. That and his wonderful laugh and sense of humor. He could make me smile and laugh even in the worst of times, and I could do the same for him.

Hey, I'm glad you have a best friend like that, Youth. It's a wonderful thing to be in a relationship like that. Take lots of mental pictures of all the times you have with him and put them all in your heart. That "photo album" in your heart will get you through a lot of stuff later on.

With Love,
Chris