I wondered about it for a long time. Thought about it for a long time. Like I sometimes wonder about what it might have been like if I had had a sexual relationship with my YF. Not in a nasty way, mind you, (well, ok, sometimes it can get into the nasty relm) but just thinking, "What if?". But I know I made the right decision to keep sex out of our relationship even when he made a few obvious advances towards me. Sometimes you still wonder, though.

I know I made the right decision to be celebat and I don't ever question that, but the mind can still go to those places at times. It dosen't happen too often but when it does it can be pretty strong. I loved him with all my heart and that is so much better than anything we might have had sexually. And I doubt that sex would have made the relationship any better than it already was; why would it? We had a lovely thing going on with lots of physical closeness. He loved hugs and snuggling with me and that was really great, you know?

Anyways, I AM glad I woke up when I did. I want to live in the now, not in my dreams. And I don't need to entertain something that never was and never will be. God Bless!

With Love,
Chris