Okay so.

Since January I really feel like I have changed. You know my attraction to boys thing. And I really have changed and I am glad that it is so.

Since I have broken up with my girlfriend I have thought to myself:
"Where are my feelings?"

It seems like everyone I know has SOMEBODY they like... always around.

Well I had an episode with a 14 year old boy who has become my best friend... and what do you know.. my BESTEST FRIEND is his older brother : p
The episode ended rather bad... but now I see the good that came from it and now its all good and I just recently spent the day with my best friend and his little brother.

Today I had the unfortunate honor of answering my own question.

My feelings are right back where they started... well in that.. I mean a person.

I Do not HAVE a case a BoyLove again or anything... I have completely moved on.. and have liked a few girls and it all leads back to my 14 year old friend.

Its like I like girls.... and then him.... and the pain... of actually feeling love.. but yet it is so misplaced... what has become of me? I just feel so happy like its meant to be but it is not. I feel so restrained and helpless.... I have seen him grow and I too have grown with him.... but its not this longing dramatic episode where Youth?? becomes pregnant with him again or anything...

Today I was hit with such a wave if feelings... and it feels good.. I honestly do love this kid... if I had a female 17 year old version of him.. I would marry her.

Don't worry... I am stronger now than before... and I am not even going to tell him or try anything stupid..... I just have to deal with my feelings before I have a breakdown.

Any advice?
Keep in mind the feelings I have are stronger than ever and stronger than any other feelings I have ever had (are having).

Until then, I think you'll find me on the offensive.
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(|Youth??|)
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