Hey, Cat, it's me, The Heathen, er...Dreamer, well, close enough. Hope you're well, and (though I haven't looked at cblf for awhile, so I may be missing info) I hope your marital situation is whatever is working best for you.

You know my opinion, I just plain old don't think it's wrong. We're made a certain way by Who Ever, and since the beginnings of our species (yeah, I'm an evolution believer, Darwin and all, sorry!), there have always been guys like us, and always will.

Regarding the sexual desire, reasonable people could disagree, but I don't necessarily separate it from the love desire as much as some people do. I think the two, if both human beings desire, can go together, and I don't think God (yeah, that's a better name than Who Ever) decided to make an 18th birthday some sort of magical epiphany date when suddenly, it's OK. 17 years, 11 months, 30 days, monstrous sin, 18, 0, 0, cool? I don't think that way.

There is one thing that kinda surprised me in your post. You mentioned a desire, that'll almost certainly never be fulfilled, to marry and live with him forever. OK. But I think that's a whole different ballgame, and here's why. A boy, by his very nature, only stays as he is, physically, emotionally, everythingally, for an instant. A very short instant. I think part of our lot in life is that we must realize that his attention and love IS, by his nature and ours, temporary and ephemeral. When you mention the "f" word (forever, not the other one!), I just hope you understand that forever is nothing that a pure BL can aspire to. Loving friend/gay relationship, cool! But please don't expect something (permanence) from the boy that is not his to give you.

All right, that's all from me now! Be good, old man.