I have put a lot of thought into this and here is my decision. I have decided not to attend my niece and nephew's high school graduation. But what I have done is send them very nice cards with a personal letter inside and gave them each a check for $50.00. In the letters I told them how much I love them and how very proud I am of them. I also tried my best to explain to them why I could not be there, without going into a lot of detail.

My decision not to attend isn't based on the fear that there might be some kind of fight or negative scene with my brother, mom and myself. Actually I am concerned that they will want to try to make up with me and then go back to the way things were before. This is something I cannot handle. I would love to be on speaking terms with them, and have things go along like any "normal" family would, but I know this might never happen. The fact is that they have repeitedly used me with smiles on thier faces and kind words coming from their lips. I just can't help myself from getting caught up in thier lies and back-stabbing deciet until it is too late. I hate to say this about them and about me, but I know it is the truth. The evidence of the past does not lie. So I can't trust them and I can't trust myself when it comes to relating to them. I must stay away from this situation, therefor, and it breaks my heart.

But I hope with all my heart that the kids will some day be able to see the truth of what has happened and perhaps seek me out. I have made a first step in that direction by writing to them and telling them how I feel, so now I hope they will perhaps write me back. At any rate, it is in God's hands.

I am still working on my study of Joseph and I'm already able to relate to him in a posative way. If God could make something great come out of the emotional mess in his life, then He can make something great come out of my own. But just like Joseph, I must leave my family in His hands for now.

With Love in Christ,
Chris