towards trying to understand yourself and your sexual responses, which is good.

I think you're right to worry about all this being TMI for your wife...but I think you should be discussing it with SOMEBODY!

I doubt God would give you such an intense and persistent and..."unmarital" inclination if it didn't have any meaning.

Maybe you could work on interpreting "it" (that feeling of BL desire) as God's compass needle in your soul. Rather than GRABBING it and trying to make it point TOWARDS your wife, or AWAY from boys, or God forbid, TOWARDS boys, how about taking it seriously as a direction indicator from God, and letting it spin freely? Seeing where it points?

One of the big freedoms that you have is the freedom to talk negatively or positively to that...uh-hrmmm!...rather independent aspect of your being.

IF you're otherwise in control of your faculties, and are living a connected Christian life, and have someone professional to talk to in case things get hairy, then I think you're ready for the adventure of sitting down with that wayward "Cupid" of yours and beginning a proper relationship with him. Just be firm but gentle, and explain that you accept him as part of your life, as a permanent part of your life, and you are neither going to try to **CONTROL** nor **eliminate** him, nor are you going to be controlled by him; and that you expect him to play his legitimate part, as your "paidomorphic" soul, in the relationship between you and God.

Don't expect that he will NEVER put his leg in front of you and trip you up sexually -- that's his nature -- but if you quit trying to lay violent hands on him and MAKE him do what you want, or MAKE him go away, you can expect his behavior to improve a good deal. And of course, if he gets in trouble, or lost, or uppity, that's what Jesus is for, eh what? Be sure to regularly ask you know who for....(I'm sorry I can't make pagan fingers type the holy words...) that magical substance which binds together body and soul. You'll need plenty of it.

(Most guy's souls look like girls, so I had to make a new vocabulary.
Only BL's have Boy-looking souls...see Peter Pan and the Shadow....
'paidomorphic' means, in the shape of a boy.)

Good Luck!

Didaskalos

PS: the fun starts when you can start asking your wife what her boy-soul look like....