What I'm reading is that you are afraid that your family are still the giant fuck-tards they were when you last saw them. And you might be right. But they can only use you if you let them, and they can only hurt you if you permit their childishness and ignorance to matter in your mind. Unless we're talking physical violence or legal trickery ("what were you doing alone with my child, you evil molester?" kind of crap), their emotional violence is something you can rise above and walk away from yet again, and do so as the better, stronger man.

I feel a bit hypocritical saying all this, since I haven't spoken to my father in about 4 years, and if we ever do meet again, he's not likely to survive the encounter, since he is so prone to abusing me and starting fights with me, and I am a martial arts teacher... well you get the idea. But I have to suggest that you try, since they have sent you an invitation. If it's genuine, going could be the beginning of healing in your life and theirs. It it's bait, you can be stronger than the trap, like a dog in a mouse trap. Yeah, it'll hurt a lot, but if you are strong enough, it won't kill you.

Maybe, after they hear from you how much pain they've caused you over these past years, they can try to undo some of the damage, both worldly and spiritually. Or maybe they are hopeless wastes of oxygen, and you can leave them behind forever.

No matter what you decide, I will be praying for you Chris.

Love in Christ,
~CSL