For those who are my friends who will read this and wonder why I didn't email them about this first I just want to say that I just wanted to come in here with this first. I don't get much time online and wanted to say this in here as it gets more coverage with less time.

I got a letter from my mom yesterday. When I opened it, it was an invitation. My niece and nephew are graduating from High School. What a shock, I haven't seen a picture of either of them since my family pretty much disowned me back in 2001. I really had a hard time recognising either of them, which made me feel so sad.

I love those kids, man, I really, really do. But there was nothing I could do about not seeing them. My mom had turned the family against me, telling them what a disgusting bad perverted pedophile I am. And believe me, they listened. So I have been seperated from my nephews and niece since then. I haven't seen them or even a picture of them in all these years. It broke my heart...right in two. And now I guess my mom thinks it's funny to send me thier graduation invites. I'm not really invited, I know that. If I showed up there would be a bad scene, and I'm not about to do that to any of those kids on such an important day. I wouldn't do it at any time in front of them, actually.

But it sure makes my heart ache. I love them so much. I remember sitting on the back porch with my niece just letting here talk my ears off...she loved that. Or the big hugs I would give to my nephew because he always looked like he could use a hug. They have really changed in the way they look, but I don't know how they feel about me. I am going to send them each a graduation card and whatever money I can.

I can't write any more but I will say this...sometimes I really don't dig being a BL. Or perhaps I should say, I really hate being KNOWN as a BL by my family. It has hurt a lot over the years.

With Love in Christ,
Chris