Being a tad... odd... my first impulse is to second Youth's reccomendation to ditch your wife and shack up with a llama.

I'm... guessing that's not the answer you're looking for, no matter how much more interesting it is than the others. Hmm...

"skip the part where I'm regularly sexually assaulted".... hehe ... yeah... that's what I want.

But if I choose that, then she wants me to leave.

Ahhh... the joy of young love. "Put out or get out," she said from the driver's seat of a 1952 buick, 30 miles from town. "I bought you a hamburger, and I expect my money's worth."

As... probably the queerest queen of the diaper faeries, I know from experience that deep, earth-shattering, heavens-trembling love crosses a lot of boundaries - from tearing down minor social taboo surrounding sleeping with a 3yo, until not even the most conservative of citizens had heard of any objection in their life...

...to falling madly, passionately in love with a billion people whom you would, in fact, not sleep with for even some pretty decent sums of money. Or, animals you wouldn't sleep with for money.

Aye, my life has been filled with love after wellspring of love that made Jesus look down from heaven, shed a tear, and say "Gee, I feel kinda shallow. I only gave my life in unconditional love... but this... this I'm seein' from up here... this guy's life is filled with love to take note of!" ...and it has been a rich and fulfilling life, freely given and freely taken, cradle to grave, human and animal, all has been filled with a treasure whose richness is beyond measure...

Your wife, otoh, has no feelings for you, and is only using you for sex.

Blunt, but it has to be said. Cradle to grave, human and animal, anything that's not fitting into "cradle" and "human" is getting kicked out of bed, but I shall always know 'till my dying day that our relationships were some of the most meaningful things to ever transpire heaven or earth.

I still ain't fuckin' the damn dog. No matter how many times it mounts my leg.

If your wife had been there, she'd... probably know this. Certainly, anyone who has experienced trancendent, earth-shattering, all-is-right-with-the-world love would never, ever, ever consider it completely valueless.

...and similarly, while many, many people - myself included - who have been there, done that, and watched the world shaken to its foundations by love may indeed think "y'know, a great sex life might sound really, really, really cool" - no one who's ever known love is going to make it the only basis of their interpersonal reactions.

Which means, basically, that the only conclusion is that your wife has no feelings for you, has never felt warmth towards anyone, and is using you for your body.

Now... some straight guy comes up to me with that problem, I'd say "get a piece and look for your heart's joy someplace else." Well, if they came to me with that problem about someone they're dating, that is... @#$% complicating social rituals... but yeah.

You, otoh, are in a much different position. She, apparently, wants a piece - and according to her, it's the only thing she thinks the relationship is worth. You, otoh, are not a str8 guy - an excellent sign of character, I might add.

So, the answer to "what should I do" would seem to be "sell your wife to a whorehouse in a country where you have the legal right to do so;" I hear arabia and japan are rumored for white slavery. Perfect! She gets what she wants - lots of dick - you get what you want (boy harems are not unknown in either)... and you can visit your friend/wife any time you want. She may not care, but it's good to spend time with those that you care about.

Not the answer you were looking for? Probably not, but I'm not exactly some sort of messiah or anything, and even Jesus himself would just shake His head, the only things audible amongst his schock-stricken mutterings the words "humans" and "pieces of work" and "crazy little bastards" and the like.

...but... your wife is apparently just using you for sex. Those who know love don't undervalue it, and like we tell young girls in these newfangled times now that the fundies launch deeply-amoral pro-abstinence propaganda - if (s)he says she'll leave you if you don't put out, (s)he didn't love you in the first place.

This sad realization has been brought to you by AcmeCo. Sorry to have to burst your bubble, feel free to try to show me its wrong, but it had to be said. What ya do with it is up to you.