I got very upset last night because of some things going on in my life.

My best friend seems to be slipping from me faster than I thought he would.
We already had to cancel 2 trips, JUST because he got a job.

And the year is almost over.
I am not ready to be a senior.
I am not ready for another long, boring summer.
I am not ready to take my senior pictures for the final yearbook.
I am not ready to look at my senior portfolio.
I am not ready to walk away with my cap and gown, and say "I am done".

I am not ready to spend countless weekends at home alone without my best friend, I have thought about loosing him, and it tears me apart. I got so angry on the phone with my girlfriend NOT AT HER though.

She thinks I need counseling, she said no one should be this depressed, or this upset, but no matter what she would be there.

She knows my dark past.

I am not ready for anything, I am so tiered of change, I can't enjoy life at all. People all around me are changing and moving on, and I am so behind, and I can't do it.

People are talking about this and that about next year, I just say, "If i make it into next year"

I really have lost the will to live, and do good in school, and date.

I am a wreck.

Happy Marc?
I admited it.