...babyluster. Very, very excessively experienced.

Now the question is... am I decieved?

:p

You don't want my answer. Cobble together something militant and pretend it's written here. ;)

Can I enjoy her for her own sake?

Yes!

...just not in the sack. But lemme guess, she's cool as bat turds to kick it with, right? :)

Don't undervalue it.

Am I resisting or unrepentant or unwilling or in any other way hindering the process?

Yes, but one day you will cease your rebellion and proudly declare "I am a boyfucker, as God's perfect will envisioned for my life, and I and my desires are the equal of any mortal being, as there is not a thing about my life which is not the expression of His perfect will."

'till then, well... "resisting" and "unrepentent" are some very good adjectives. "Unwilling" definately seems to fit, from what I've seen. "Hindering" is a neat verb, don't'cha think?

Can I have sex with her without thinking about kids?

Uuuummmmmmm....

no.

Heck. Straight guys can't have sex with a woman without thinking about kids. In their case, it's hysteric, terror-stricken paranoia. "What if it breaks?"

In your case, it's... umm... basically a disassociative defense in the course of sexual abuse. Yours.

Personally, I'd strongly suggest having sex with yourself while thinking about kids. Mentally and emotionally healthier, usually. Buy her a nice, battery-operated present, or even better yet, find a boyfriend that likes older women, too. :p

Its just skin on a body frame and shapes of sex organs????

Actually, I can usually tell age and gender within a few months from any body part whatsoever. Everything is physiologically different.

...but... hey. Sexing up a cow is just an extra pair of breasts. Have fun. :p

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

This is so stressful!

Well, I'd suggest skipping the part where you're regularly sexually assaulted while sublimating your genetic and neuroarchitectural core, unsuccessfully...

...but that's just me. Other people develop a benzodiazapene addiction to deal with stress.

Whatever works for you. :)