Something inside me has clicked. I still love looking at Bertil. He is so beautiful. Also there is a wonderful pic of Dennis the Menace when he is poking his head around the corner, he is sooo cute!
But something has changed. There is no less attraction and delight in the face. The purity, the beauty, the spirituality of the vision.
But I am not needy or hungry like I was.

I think what we all need is to be told--as children--that we are and are seen as the presence of God, another Christ. As a child I was not shown that. My face, my beauty, my being a child of God and therefore one in whom God shines with light, none of this was told me in gesture, affection or word.
My soul needed to be shown.
The boys that I obsessed about were just symbols of me. I wanted to tell them/me that they were so beautiful as to be, in a sense, divine. The presence of God in flesh, in a sense.
But that was just what I, as a boy, needed (and need) to be told.

I went back in time with God in prayer.
I heard what I needed to hear.

Strange. A bubbling of my soul, a dancing light, an eternal child now bursts from within all the time. A glee, a delight, a sparkle in the eye, a cheeky knowing.

With this, a strength.
No less tenderness to boys. But a detachment at the same time.

This is all so different--and yet much is the same.
It's like God as a chiropractor has cracked my soul into place and now everything is aligned properly.

Let's see if things stay this way.

Let this message be a gift to all.

Heaps of love, Bertil.