I have wrestled with this issue Rick.

I think that I have definately idolised boys over the years.

I have tried in the last couple to learn to sepearate myself from the aspects of my sexuality that idolise boys and to enjoy the aspects that encourage my worship of God.

When I see a beautiful boy, I marvel at God's creation and turn the energy it gives me into praise.
When I am tempted to sexualise a situation in my mind... I try and pray and ask God's help in overcoming temptation.

Of course I'm not always successful nor clear on where to draw the lines (as you would note if you've been following my posts on masturbation).

But I learnt recently that we need to take this journey in steps as God leads us (thanks Blackstone for that).

Being a boy in heaven.... I'd love that too. Though I don't think that's how it would go somehow. Boys are created to grow up... it is the glory of a boy to become a man. As much as I don't like that as a minor attracted individual... it is the reality of what God has made. I think I do well to accept that.

Blessings
Cat.